I want to walk on stilts...naked
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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