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Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
my sisters under your porch take her home
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm getting married
To pizza
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