you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do vagina's smell?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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