i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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