Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
