So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
