Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
