she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
