Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
