when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
