Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
