Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
