Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
