Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
