I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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