I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize