So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
