then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
