My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
