the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
