You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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