Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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