you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
