i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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