hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
