In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize