i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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