He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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