..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
