i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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