Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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