I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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