would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
time to smoke my breakfast
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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