I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
