your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
