i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
