It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
