dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
