I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
