she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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