He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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