But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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