Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
