i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
