i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
