if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
