but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
