When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
MIDGETS
????
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize