I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
