yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
