we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
