To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
pray to the hookup gods
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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