I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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