That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i think i have herpe
just one?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
