I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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