I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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