just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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