Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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