3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
