ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
