Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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