You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
