we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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