you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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