Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
