Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
