I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm passing your future prison.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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