May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
