Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize