Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
