do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
