U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
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